For the Empire

negritaaa:

TSA: are u carrying any firearms or explosives?

Me: *points to crotch* u mean this bomb pussy?

TSA: why do u always do this?

(via lindsaylohoean)

julystorms:

beastworu:

god is dead and we didn’t even just kill him we completely annihilated him

THAT IS thE NastIEST THING I AHVE EVER SEEN
please tell me this is extremely fake and would never exist even in an au of our world

julystorms:

beastworu:

god is dead and we didn’t even just kill him we completely annihilated him

THAT IS thE NastIEST THING I AHVE EVER SEEN

please tell me this is extremely fake and would never exist even in an au of our world

(via falcuntpunch)

friendlydad:

have you ever just assumed that a word was pronounced a certain way and you end up pronouncing it incorrectly throughout your entire life and then one day someone corrects you and its like you can almost hear satan laughing as the flames of hell begin to seep up from underground and slowly burn you to death

(via greis-)

Relax. You will become an adult. You will figure out your career. You will find someone who loves you. You have a whole lifetime; time takes time. The only way to fail at life is to abstain.

—Johanna de Silentio  (via brokenallucinator)

(Source: wordsthat-speak, via lanededios)

teenytigress:

I asked my brother for a glass of water and he brought me back a cup of ice and said “wait”

(via lindsaylohoean)